mind numbing

22 07 2004

would anybody out there care to take my place in pharmacology?

it’s been quite a while since i’ve put an entry in…coincidence that the quarter started? nah.





common sense

6 07 2004

obese women likely to have overweight kids. well duh!

every year in columbus, there is a fantastic display of fireworks downtown. like many others, I hate the crowds. so, my family picks a spot on a public lawn far from the hustle and bustle. we like it…and have come to know the other families that discovered the same spot. but this year we had strangers among us (dare i say they came from the “other side of the tracks”?!?).

so, it’s not perfect….perfectly flat, that is. (and here is the connection to the above story.) a new family decided to pick the spot next to us. to put it plainly, they were hillbillies through and through. Down to the dirty blond children with torn and tattered clothes and the men wearing cut-off jean shorts w/ sleeveless denim button-downs….unbuttoned…..with no t-shirt underneath. yes, i do believe he was slurping beer in a cozy, too. oh-and mullets!! yes, mullets. anyway, they were (cough) a little larger. ok. they were fat. i’d say a bmi in the 30’s. here’s the sad part. Remember the gently sloping lawn? all three of their children had to support they’re bulging bellies as they ran down it. and it wasn’t a pretty sight.

here is my plea to you, mothers, don’t doom your child to a lifetime of obesity and unhealthyness. put down the cigarette when you are feeding your baby. pass the doritos in the snack aisle and head toward the produce section. (“produce” means fresh fruits and vegetables, if you didn’t understand what section was)….THINK OF YOUR CHILDREN FOR GOD’S SAKE!!!!





public service announcement

2 07 2004

[feedback from microphone]

helllloooo!!

[tapping on the mike]

is this thing on?

[screechy feedback]

hello!? oh. hi. i`d like your attention please. i`d like to announce that i`ve surpasssed the 100 day mark. day 102 to be exact.

[clap….pause…clap]

I`VE BEEN QUIT FOR OVER 100 DAYS PEOPLE!!!

[roaring applause]

thank you.

we now return you to your regular programming.