win some yarn, you lucky dog! (contest rules)

hi all…i’ve finally the time to sit down to write a post about my blog contest. while i was at knitter’s review, i had the time of my life. how could you not? there was yarn; there was knitting; there was good company. while it would be all too easy to be selfish and keep my kc memories all to myself, i wanted someone to share my joy.

i don’t want to wax philosophical, but sometimes i feel like i take for granted that i am a lucky person. i have shelter and food. i have a wonderful fiance (i love you) and family (i love you too!). i am healthy. and i have a stable job. but it is all to easy to throw perspective off when the details and fussiness of life creeps in. for example, my last three shifts at work were miserable…so miserable they make me question if being a nurse is worth my physical, mental and emotional energy. sometimes that environment is filled with so many poisonous personalities, you wonder why anyone would want to be a nurse. but then i remember that my job is not about me. it’s about healing, helping and supporting. it’s about providing for my family. and (okay, maybe it is a little about me)…it’s about having extra cash to spend on a little something to make me happy. because i am lucky.

so as i sit here, bleary-eyed and worn down, i want to celebrate being lucky.

tell me why you are lucky and what you appreciate about your life, your job, your hobby, or whatever. it can be rather mundane or completely profound.

i’ll randomly pick a winner from the comments left to this post one week from today-ish. the winner gets their choice of colorway of the chameleon colorworks evolution yarn (2 skeins), as posted on my previous post. i also may dig through my stash and find something else to give away, just to make the pot a little sweeter.

i hope this post finds you in a happy mood!

here’s a friday fiber pic (this one, i’m keeping!)

 

yarnlove, joan of arc (sock yarn) in sincerity
1 skein | 50% merino, 50% tencel | 4 oz : 410 yards
notes: such a sheen with subtle color! purchased at knitters connection

it’s july 27 already?!?

hello again! by a stroke of (bad) luck, my preceptor was sick today. that means, a free day for me! unfortunately that also means that i have to find at least another 8 hours to cover this clinical day…which is no small feat considering my work schedule.

i’m settling into my own skin as a future np and i thought i’d share my thought of the day.

let’s set the record straight. i’m not in this program to save the world. i don’t aspire to feed every mouth and clothe every naked baby. i want a job with stability. i want a job in a cush suburban area where i don’t have to carry mace with me from the car to the clinic. the saving the world thing is a bonus…and while working with the underserved population gives me some warm fuzzies, i’m probably not going to find myself here after i graduate….but, that’s not to say that i don’t enjoy working with this population…or that i’m not compassionate of their situations….or that ANY baby is just darn cute! why all the self disclosure today? dunno. i guess i find myself in the minority when it comes to my classmates. you know, the future missionaries, the political lobbyists, the strong woman faction….or whatever the cause du jour. i just wanted to tell you that it’s okay that i don’t have a pet cause, or have that burning desire to (fill in the blank) for (insert population here) because of (whatever tragedy befalls them).

but before you label me a heartless bitch, i do think that my saving grace is that i am able to connect with whomever is my patient, er, mostly. i think that translates to the patient that i’m invested in their physical/social/emotional health, and bottom line, that’s what matters.

well, that and…i don’t kill them.

boo.

wanted to write a note to let you all know that my life it a bit crazy right now. imagine having to work full time, as a new nurse i might add, going to school…mix in some clinicals (for nurse practitioner/masters degree)…and sprinkle with 900+ pages of reading and assignments weekly.

this of course doens’t include the homework for ‘classes’ at work, the reading associated with the new work environment and then even more reading for my new clinical site policies.

now add car maintenance issues and general home cleanliness. (may i add, i don’t know how i could get through this w/o my dear fiance…)

must get to work!

picture this

(please note that a long and thoughtful post was composed, including meaningful insights into being a nurse today…but fucking blogger lost it. a synopsis follows)

so my first day was good. a bit overwhelming. my patient is probably brain dead. ventilators suck. nurse-patient/family interaction is difficult.

that’s all the energy that i have left.

somedays i just hate technology.

pelvic exam

bet that got your attention!

(to all women out there) how willing would you be to allow nurse practitioner students learn on you? tell you what. as a woman, the yearly exam is NOT something that I look forward to. bravo to the models that came in and ‘braved’ the exam.

now my next question is, why don’t we get male models for the prostate exam? how sexist.

blood, sweat & tears

…okay, maybe just a little sweat. today is day 2 of my “get back into shape” initiative. 30 minutes on the elliptical was more of a head trip than physical work. i kept thinking to myself, “myself, i can’t do this anymore!!!”. fortunately, i talked myself out of it. in my glory days i was a finely tuned machine…but a decade later i’ve traded my tennis racket for a well-worn place on the couch. but no more.

side note.

how do you respond when your [future] eight year-old says to you “i want to be skinny; my belly is too big”? it just so happened that we went to the library today and as fate would have it, there was a kid’s book on the get in shape gang. anyways, there was a kid-appropriate section on diet and excercise and how not to overdo it. we talked about growing and how that may affect her weight and shape…there’s a whole lot of subtext that i’m not typing…and honestly, it’s way too much to write about in one sitting. but let me assure you, dear reader, that the focus in this household is on health, not weight. she seemed to understand. we’ll see how things pan out. cross your fingers for us.

[sigh] this is a subject that is not taken lightly with me; i have known too many women that have sufferred from eating disorders, including my sister.

i have a job!

[patting self on back]

i have a job!! i have a job!! okay, so i understand that the news isn’t so exciting, considering the nursing shortage and sign-on bonuses. however, one must consider that i am still in the midst of my program.

what type of program, you ask? in a nutshell, its is an accelerated MS program for non-nursing bachelors degree holders. in 6 quarters, i earn an RN; in the last 6 quarters, i earn my MS – incidentally my ‘major’ is family nurse practitioner. when i say accelerated, i mean it! each quarter i take almost double the amount of credit hours as any graduate student on campus. (things are slowing down now that i’m in the latter part of the program…but still very intense!)

what makes getting the job so extraordinary is the combined nature of the program and the ‘special consideration’ for my job. not only does the pace of the program not allow for the requisite orientation (orientation is normally a full-time duty and may last up to 6 months) that most RN’s must go through, but also it is next to impossible to find a flexible part-time RN position. i was able to secure a part-time position in a CCU as a new RN and get some flexibility in terms of my orientation period!!!

so i consider myself very lucky and consequently, i’m celebrating. yeah!

hooray! last day of clinicals!!!

boy am i excited! it’s my last day of clinicals. i’ve been working in the ccu and it’s been more than enjoyable. it took awhile to get into the groove…but it all came together. how fabulous. i (heart) ccu. heh heh.

oh yeah, ccu is cardiac intensive care for you non-healthcare types.

i’m spent, that’s all i have to share tonight.

do you want that with cream or sugar?

no one has ever equated having children with buying coffee. at least let’s hope not. but with the racing pace of technology in genetics, is a gattaca-like world really that far off? do you prefer brown or hazel eyes? would you like some whip cream with that?

a recent assignment for a family theory class that i am enrolled has me pondering what lines i draw for such technology. but i’m a scientist, damnit! well, yes, but at what point does science trump humanity? my prof had us view an interesting movie (i think the link points to a more updated version). and perhaps, if i’m feeling spunky, i’ll share parts of my essay…but, if that’s to be done, i’ll need to stop writing on this blog and get crackin’!

mind numbing

would anybody out there care to take my place in pharmacology?

it’s been quite a while since i’ve put an entry in…coincidence that the quarter started? nah.